A trip to SOUTH KOREA ; SEOUL ♥
Hazelnut contact lens.
Study/migrate to SEOUL ♥
Speak fluent Hangul ♥
Better results esp Math. New handphone ; N97 mini.
Monday, March 24, 2008, @ 3:21 PM
24 March ; Monday
First day of the week yet occurs problems. People keep on hatting me & I don't know why. Problems kept occuring in my life. What am I supposed to do ? Kept quiet about it and tell noone ? By the look of things, yeah, I'm crying. I may look that I'm smiling but deep inside I'm actually crying. People keep accusing me of things I didn't do. Now Atikah said that I backstabbed her behind her back. What I do wrong this time ?!?! Yeah I know I'm imperfect! I don't need people to keep telling me that! Why suddenly people hate me without any valid reason! 1 problem was not solved yet another 1 occurs. I kept wondering what I did wrong towards them. I can't share my problem with anyone. If not, people might think that I can't solve things by myself. I just want to live a normal life. Why is it always me having problems ? Why can't others ?! If people hate my attitude, yeah sure I can change but it takes time. Hate me ? So be it. You will have to accept me the way I are. Words simply can't bring me down but why am I crying ? Problems don't always vanished into thin air just like that without solving it. If there's a problem, I must try to solve it. I don't know why I'm having this weird feeling. For the one whole day, I felt so weird. I don't feel like eating. I just can't take it with these people! Those who hate me, they will have to live with it. Whether they like it or not. I kept avoiding my friends in the bus nor I sit with them. I sit alone by myself thinking... I don't even have the mood to talk to them. Just say "Bye" to them and I'm off. Take a grip Roszima. I'm not the only 1 who has problems too right ? Look! Atikah, if hatting me will solve your problem, then sure...go ahead! This problem won't go by itself you know. I cry all because of you. You can say anything about me but I know you can't change me. Atikah, you will have to accept me whether you like it or not. I really felt weird today until I cried infront of my mom. She ask me alot of question why I'm today so moody. Usually, I would come back home laughing. But I guess not today huh. I don't feel like sharing my problems to anyone. Because there's no point telling people about my problems. It's been more than a week until today, I broke into tears. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. If Syafiqah, Ramizah, Umairah & Keyraa can accept me for who I am, then why can't Atikah accept me ??? That question has been in my mind for about more than an hour. She said I've change into the "new" Roszima. But I still feel the same! I don't want to change because I know that would hurt my friends alot. I don't even want to change into my true colours. I don't want my past-problems to come back. I tried to be well, ME but I failed. If she don't like me, might as well she'll be hatting me larh. She wants to think negatively towards me ? Yeah sure. If that's what she wants. If she don't want to be my friend, heck care with her! 1 friend gone, 10 comes (: If hatting me made her happy, then sure noone's stopping her. I don't talk to people like her. Hate me for all I care! I don't even want to be her friend. Like I said, there's not only 1 friend who I have right ? I have alot excluding her. She wants to avoid me & tell others too ? Go ahead! Like that'll make her happy. I've been keeping my sorrows away from my friends. Until today, Ramizah, Syafiqah & Umairah ask me why. I've been keeping quiet in class except messaging Ben. He even ask me not to cry nor feel sad. It's between me & Atikah & noone else other than her. I'm stress out alright! Damn! My story ends here. Buaiix... Takkairs...
